So, first question, can you laugh at yourself? If you can't go away! Kiding! Let's try and fix that... So this is about laugh and feeing good and smiling making you forget what ever gloom there is going on in your life.
Now you know that one is true...
For all you band Geeks!
Makes you wonder...
I Blame the CEO!
Case and point, we all have our own brand of stupid....
Er...
Love thy enemy, it freaks the hell out of them...
Murphy's law: 1. If anything can go wrong, it will." 2. "If there's more than one possible outcome of a job or task, and one of those outcomes will result in disaster or an undesirable consequence, then somebody will do it that way" 3. "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way."
Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies: As a discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.
Hanlon's razor: 1. Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. 2. Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice.
Amara's Law: "We tend to overestimate the effect of a technology in the short run and underestimate the effect in the long run.
Benford's law of controversy: The Passion of an agruement is inversely proportional to the amount of real information available.
Dilbert Principal: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
Gall's Law: "A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked."
Herblock's Law: If it's good, they'll stop making it.
Hutber's Law: "Improvement means deterioration".
Littlewood's Law: Individuals can expect a miracle to happen to them at the rate of about one per month.
Meadow's Law: One is a tragedy, two is suspicious and three is murder, until proved otherwise.
Muphry's Law: If you write anything criticizing editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written.
Okrent's Law: The pursuit of balance can create imbalance because sometimes something is true.
Parkingson's Law:Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.
Peter's Principle: In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
Reilly's Law: People generally patronize the largest mall in the area.
Roemer's Law: A hospital bed built is a bed filled
Rothbard's Law: Everyone specializes in his own area of weakness.
Sayre's Law: "In any dispute the intensity of feeling is inversely proportional to the value of the stakes at issue." By way of corollary, the law adds: "That is why academic politics are so bitter."
Schneier's Law: Any person can invent a security system so clever that she or he can't think of how to break it.
Segal's Law A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure."
Skitt's Law: a corollary of Muphry's law, variously expressed as "any post correcting an error in another post will contain at least one error itself" or "the likelihood of an error in a post is directly proportional to the embarrassment it will cause the poster."
Stigler's Law: No scientific discovery is named after its original discoverer.
Sturgeon's Revelation: 90 percent of everything is crap.
Sutton's Law: Go where the money is.
Wiener's Law: There are no answers, only cross-references.
Female Pick Up Lines, if you have one, add it!
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Have I seen you someplace before.
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: So how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body's like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, no services today.
Man: I would go to the ends of the earth for you.
Woman: Could you stay there?
Man: If I saw you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and I together. (OMG THAT IS THE OLDEST AND LAMEST LINE EVER!)Woman: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put f and u together.
Man: I'd do anything for you.
Woman: Does that include leaving?
Man: You eyes are the most beautiful shade of... (insert color here)
Woman: And your eyes are the most horrible shade of black.
Man: My eyes aren't black.
Woman: Keep talking to me and they will be!
Man: You truly are something.
Woman: So are you. I just wonder what that something is.
Man: Come on, what do you see when you look at me?
Woman: Someone who can't take a hint!
Got those are some of my favorites!
Now that I have made you smile, share some of your best jokes and pass them on.
How I learned to mind my own business: I was walking past a mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were out in the yard shouting, "13....13....13...." The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on and some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick! Then they all started shouting "14....14....14..."Ok now that we got you gigling lets see if we can keep that going...
Now you know that one is true...
For all you band Geeks!
Makes you wonder...
I Blame the CEO!
Case and point, we all have our own brand of stupid....
Er...
Love thy enemy, it freaks the hell out of them...
Murphy's law: 1. If anything can go wrong, it will." 2. "If there's more than one possible outcome of a job or task, and one of those outcomes will result in disaster or an undesirable consequence, then somebody will do it that way" 3. "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way."
Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies: As a discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.
Hanlon's razor: 1. Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. 2. Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice.
Amara's Law: "We tend to overestimate the effect of a technology in the short run and underestimate the effect in the long run.
Benford's law of controversy: The Passion of an agruement is inversely proportional to the amount of real information available.
Dilbert Principal: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
Gall's Law: "A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked."
Herblock's Law: If it's good, they'll stop making it.
Hutber's Law: "Improvement means deterioration".
Littlewood's Law: Individuals can expect a miracle to happen to them at the rate of about one per month.
Meadow's Law: One is a tragedy, two is suspicious and three is murder, until proved otherwise.
Muphry's Law: If you write anything criticizing editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written.
Okrent's Law: The pursuit of balance can create imbalance because sometimes something is true.
Parkingson's Law:Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.
Peter's Principle: In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
Reilly's Law: People generally patronize the largest mall in the area.
Roemer's Law: A hospital bed built is a bed filled
Rothbard's Law: Everyone specializes in his own area of weakness.
Sayre's Law: "In any dispute the intensity of feeling is inversely proportional to the value of the stakes at issue." By way of corollary, the law adds: "That is why academic politics are so bitter."
Schneier's Law: Any person can invent a security system so clever that she or he can't think of how to break it.
Segal's Law A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure."
Skitt's Law: a corollary of Muphry's law, variously expressed as "any post correcting an error in another post will contain at least one error itself" or "the likelihood of an error in a post is directly proportional to the embarrassment it will cause the poster."
Stigler's Law: No scientific discovery is named after its original discoverer.
Sturgeon's Revelation: 90 percent of everything is crap.
Sutton's Law: Go where the money is.
Wiener's Law: There are no answers, only cross-references.
Female Pick Up Lines, if you have one, add it!
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Have I seen you someplace before.
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: So how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body's like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, no services today.
Man: I would go to the ends of the earth for you.
Woman: Could you stay there?
Man: If I saw you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and I together. (OMG THAT IS THE OLDEST AND LAMEST LINE EVER!)Woman: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put f and u together.
Man: I'd do anything for you.
Woman: Does that include leaving?
Man: You eyes are the most beautiful shade of... (insert color here)
Woman: And your eyes are the most horrible shade of black.
Man: My eyes aren't black.
Woman: Keep talking to me and they will be!
Man: You truly are something.
Woman: So are you. I just wonder what that something is.
Man: Come on, what do you see when you look at me?
Woman: Someone who can't take a hint!
Got those are some of my favorites!
Now that I have made you smile, share some of your best jokes and pass them on.
WCP
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| Knowlege is Power but to use that power in the right way, that takes Courage |
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